There are times in life when you just want to vanish. Vanish in mid air. Somewhere just some place where no one can find it. You are not exactly happy or sad. You are somewhere in the middle. Feeling everything and feeling numb. But for a while you want everything to stop. Or just become invisible. Isolate yourself and detach yourself. It feels weird when people care for you. It somehow feels guilty. You do not want them to even remember you at times. It feels like you are harming them and it hurts you. Maybe you are too tired of pleasing everyone that you finally decide to give up or maybe you have been hurt for too long. Or just maybe its the combination of both. But whatever it is. It remains vague. And you sing the blues yet not sure of the reason. People question you whats wrong but you just tell them you are fine. Not that you really are but because you have no answer to that question or because you do not want to face it as well. Maybe you are running away from something. Your own securities. Trying to hide from yourself and others and everything. So used to the uncertainty and hurt. Wanting to be in your own world. And slowly this feeling grows on you. You become comfortable in your new skin. Its something you do not want to snap out of. And you withdraw yourself from the world. At times you burst out and cry because you have been holding on to it for so long. Everything seems unclear but now you become comfortable this way. Isolating yourself more everyday.
- aditi
